Ah, the weird microbe of horology! There’s something delightfully strange about collecting watches—especially when you go beyond the usual, predictable suspects. My collection? Let’s just say it’s not your typical lineup of shiny, sparkling Rolexes or pretentious Patek Philippes. Oh no, my watches are much weirder (and cheaper! 😄)—each one more eccentric than the last. How does a watch end up on my wrist? Well, it’s gotta be big (don’t ask me why), techy (obviously, it’s me), and most importantly—it needs to tell a story. These aren’t just timepieces; they’re conversation starters, wrist-worn tales of adventure, oddity, and a little bit of madness.
I’m no bleating sheep; my watches stand out. Think of my collection as a traveling circus of timekeeping oddities, where each piece juggles its own wild story. If you’re into quirky, buckle up—because here’s a tour through some of my wonderfully bizarre watches.
Breitling: A Brand for Pilots, Astronauts, Adventurers (And Me)
Breitling has always held a special place in my heart. This isn’t just a brand that crafts watches—it builds wrist-worn tools for adventurers, from daredevil pilots to astronauts and balloon pioneers. Naturally, I’ve collected a few pieces myself, each with a story that could launch an adventure movie.
Breitling Chronospace Military: Stealth Black Perfection
This isn’t just a watch—it’s like I’m wearing the undercover mission plans of a secret agent. The Breitling Chronospace Military is a stealthy beast. Cloaked in black carbon-coated steel, it gives off serious don’t-mess-with-me vibes. With a glare-proof sapphire crystal and SuperQuartz movement ten times more accurate than regular quartz, this thing is built for the extreme. It’s packed with tech, but honestly, I’ve mostly used it to time how long I can avoid answering emails.
Make no mistake, though. Wearing this feels like I could be a Navy SEAL on a mission. And who knows? Maybe one day I’ll actually have to sneak into a high-security compound (or just sneak out of a dull Teams meeting).
Breitling Chronomat UTC: Blue, of Course
The Breitling Chronomat UTC—my blue beauty. This one’s a tribute to handsome jet-setting pilots who casually stroll into Casablanca bars, nodding at Russian spies in suspiciously slit dresses. The UTC module lets me track multiple time zones, because obviously, I’m a globetrotter. The design is sleek, and the Breitling blue? Absolutely irresistible.
When I wear this, I’m not just crossing a plethora of civilization saving things off to-do lists—I’m time-traveling between continents (and maybe even planets). And let’s face it—checking this beauty beats pulling out my phone and pretending to look cool.
The Breitling Emergency: A Watch with Superpowers
Meet the Breitling Emergency, a muscled superhero of my collection. This watch isn’t just a timepiece—it’s literally a beacon of hope. It has a built-in emergency transmitter that broadcasts a distress signal to rescue teams. If I ever get lost in the wilderness (or more realistically, my backyard), this thing could save my life. If it’s good enough for globe-circling balloon adventurers, it’s good enough for me.
In the unlikely event I lose a fight against a grizzly in the Appalachians, at least my body will be found before the hyenas have a go at my bones. But let’s be real—so far, the most adventurous places I’ve worn it are the beach and through muddy woods in my Land Rover Defender. Still, it’s nice to know that whether I’m navigating the Alps or the frozen foods aisle, I’ve got James Bond and Bear Grylls vibes on my wrist.
U-BOAT 1001: Deep-Diving Madness
Now, let’s talk about the U-BOAT 1001—a watch designed for depths that no human really needs to explore (unless you have a thing for giant squids). Certified for a ridiculous 1,001 meters, this watch basically dares you to dive deeper than any rational person would go. Me? I’m not getting anywhere near that kind of depth. In fact, I don’t even like going to the deeper end of the pool. But let’s not kid ourselves—wearing this beast feels like overkill in the best way possible. Its massive case screams danger, and it makes me feel like I could wrestle a kraken.
In reality, the closest I’ve come to a squid is the calamari at my local seafood joint, but hey, I’ll take the illusion of deep-sea adventure.
The Bulova Computron: Straight Outta Sci-Fi
The Bulova Computron—a watch that looks like it came straight off a 1970s sci-fi movie set, probably because it did. With its sharp angles and red LED display, it’s the kind of timepiece a Starfleet officer might wear. It’s digital in the most retro, unapologetic way. Whenever I check the time, I half expect to be beamed up by Scotty or receive a top-secret mission.
It’s a relic of the past’s vision of the future, a time when we all thought flying cars were just around the corner. (Still waiting on that one, by the way.)
CIGA Design Eye of Horus: A Piece of Mechanical Art
Let’s pivot to something a little more artistic. The CIGA Design Eye of Horus isn’t just a watch—it’s a mechanical masterpiece. I was one of the early backers of this watch, and it’s a show-stopper. With state-of-the-art carbon fiber construction and a skeleton design that lets you peer into its intricate workings, this watch is part horology, part art exhibit.
Best of all, it carries my personal logo, making it truly one of a kind. It’s the kind of watch that makes you feel like you’re wearing a piece of history—or maybe the future—on your wrist.
The Russian Sturmanskie: First Watch in Space
Next up, we have the Russian Sturmanskie, a piece of genuine space history. This was the first watch in space, worn by none other than Yuri Gagarin during his legendary 1961 flight. Yup—this little guy was strapped on when humans first broke free of Earth’s atmosphere. Every time I wear it, I feel like I’m participating in that slice of history. Plus, it’s got that old-school Soviet military design—sturdy, simple, and a little bit mysterious. Wearing it feels like a Cold War relic, and I love it for that.
The Omega X-33: The Holy Grail of Space Watches
And now, we arrive at the Omega X-33, the undisputed pièce de résistance of my collection. This isn’t just a watch—it’s a piece of space history wrapped around my wrist. You see, this is no ordinary Omega. This is the original “Marswatch.” Omega earned that nickname due to its close ties with NASA’s ambitious X-33 program, which, in the 1990s, aimed to develop a reusable launch vehicle—a spacecraft that could revolutionize space travel.
Omega, ever the innovators, wanted a timepiece worthy of this interplanetary mission. They collaborated with astronauts, including the legendary General Tom Stafford, an Apollo astronaut who knew exactly what a space-bound watch should be capable of. This wasn’t just a “wear it at a fancy launch event” kind of watch. No, the Omega X-33 was conceived for space missions and tested in some of the most extreme environments known to man. Before it even hit the market, prototypes of the X-33 were sent to the Russian MIR space station for rigorous testing. Because when you’re making a watch for astronauts, “quality control” means seeing if it can survive in space, not just the office. Think about it—how many watches can say they’ve earned their stripes in zero gravity?
The Omega X-33 isn’t just about the “cool” factor (though, let’s face it, its coolness is off the charts). It’s also a technical masterpiece, designed to handle the unique challenges of space travel. With both analog and digital features, it’s a true hybrid. It includes Mission Elapsed Time (MET) and Phase Elapsed Time (PET), functions that allow astronauts to track the exact duration of their space missions. While I’m not timing moon landings, these features are surprisingly handy for mundane things like timing how long I can survive social events without sneaking off for a snack.
And then there are the alarms. Oh boy, the alarms! The X-33 boasts three alarms that can each hit a staggering 80 decibels—enough to wake a hibernating astronaut or, more practically, to remind me it’s time to refuel with another cup of coffee. Imagine being able to set one alarm for Earth time, one for Mars time, and one for when you need to run to the kitchen before your popcorn burns—talk about interplanetary punctuality!
The X-33’s perpetual calendar and solar compass are perfect for those moments when you need to navigate back to the snack table at a party, or if you’re lost in the desert (or just in your own thoughts). Its ability to display time in up to three different time zones means I can always keep track of when it’s happy hour in Houston, tea time on Mars, and cocktail hour at the Moon base. (Okay, I’m still working on that Moon base part.)
Ahead of Its Time: The Marswatch and the X-33 Program
As visionary as it was, Omega’s nickname for the X-33—the “Marswatch”—never quite caught on with the general public. Perhaps it was just too ahead of its time, much like the NASA X-33 program itself, which was unfortunately canceled in 2001 before it could fully launch. The cancellation left Omega in a bit of a marketing pickle, but for collectors like me, it only adds to the mystique. The Marswatch became a hidden gem, a sleeper hit in the world of horology. Those who know… know.
In fact, the watch was later rebranded as the “Starwalker”, though to me, it’ll always be the Marswatch. And here’s the thing that really makes my heart race: this watch is certified for space travel. Yep, you read that correctly. It’s certified. For. Space. It doesn’t just “look” the part—it is the part. How many watches can say that?
The Trade That Sealed the Deal
Recently, I made the bold move of trading an old Yema and a funky RSW to get my hands on this intergalactic treasure. Was it worth it? Oh, you bet it was! Now, I have a piece of history—a watch designed not just to tell time, but to keep up with astronauts on missions to space.
This isn’t just a timepiece; it’s a story. It’s a legacy. It’s a nod to the future of interplanetary exploration, and it’s right there on my wrist. Sometimes, I look at it and think, “One day, I’ll casually check the time on Mars while sipping my morning coffee here on Earth.” Until then, I’ll keep dreaming.
And who knows? Maybe Buzz Lightyear was onto something with that whole “To infinity… and beyond!” thing.
So, what should my next move be? Should I dive deeper into space-age watches or lean further into the world of mechanical art? Feel free to suggest—I’m always on the lookout for the next wild and wonderful addition to my collection.
