Social media is like fine lingerie…

I love all of you. Well, no, that is a lie: I love most of you. But still, there is so much about you that I really, really do not want to know. Ever.

The world went crazy last year when a woman live-tweeted her drug induced abortion, live. Tons of blog posts, articles and editorial pieces were written on keeping certain things from the internet, and to safeguard some information in one’s private life, rather than on the web.

Still, looking at your twitter feeds, your blog posts, your Facebook pages: there is so much I’d better not know. I see updates flipping from in a relationship to single back to in a relationship over a weekend. So you had a big fight with your loved one, that happens. You made it up on the pillow, that is nice for you. Your life goes happily on. Only, I know.  Before, you could break up a blue Saturday night, and discover new frontiers of the Kama Sutra the next sunny morning without me noticing it. But you had to Facebook it: now I’ll never look at you the same way again.

People tell me online -through updates- that they’re out of money, hate their boss, will kill their neighbor’s cat, have a hangover, broke up, divorced, have that time of the month again, are late, were out of dental floss, shopped a G-string at Victoria’s Secret, illegally downloaded the new Susan Boyle, are looking for a new job, and secretly used their moms credit card. THAT is just what I found through the updates I saw over the last 10 days, from you.

Those are just the updates. Your picture streams are really wild, complete, and do not leave a lot to the imagination either. Keep them coming.

I have a wicked mind, I’m not a prude, I can take a joke. But I’m worried. One day, you will wake up, and realize you overshared. Big time. In a way that hurts. The update that went over, the picture that kills, the drunk tweet with consequences. That day, it will be too late. It will be all over the place, indexed, search ready, shared, stored, mirrored and backed up. Your painful slip, for always ready to be found on Google. Disaster forever just one click away.

Don’t. Don’t share it all. Think twice. Like fine lingerie, social media is as exciting for what stays hidden, than for what is revealed.